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happy birthday to me

Mar. 6th, 2008 | 12:49 pm
location: woodlawn
music: the clash


the trauma began 22 years ago today.

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(no subject)

Feb. 6th, 2007 | 11:00 pm

you know your lifestyle has reached a sad, scholarly low when you come across the word "canonical" through three different activities, in one day.

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(no subject)

Jan. 17th, 2007 | 10:47 pm

okay, despite life confusion etc...

tonight, i ate a sub in the tub.

that's all.

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i stole this from sarah

Sep. 9th, 2006 | 01:59 am
music: "ruled by secrecy" muse

My Personality
Openness To Experience
Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

MySpace Surveys, Bebo and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

hello, i'm neurotic.

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(no subject)

Sep. 2nd, 2006 | 04:28 am

i had a fever today.

and the bitch boss let me leave early because she thought i seemed out of it.

at one point, when the printer ate an old lady's check, i thought i was fainting. it was awful. and i don't know if it was a physical/mental/too much caffeine reaction. but it sucked. a lot. i get faint sometimes and my dad has this heart issue where he passes out every now and then so maybe i got papa's shitty heart. or maybe i just need xanax.
who knows? but without going into boring details. work today was the worst i think it's been yet. and yes, i know that should have been a period in the earlier sentence, but my room is too dark to see the keys and i don't care.

i self-medicated tonight by first, watching "meet me in st.louis" with lindsay and then drinking a forty and some down the street.
here is to not working tomorrow and sleeping in until fucking 4 in the afternoon if i want to...shit i'm tired. night!

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(no subject)

Aug. 30th, 2006 | 01:16 am

my cat is in mad heat.

she juiced a little on my shirt.

it's not okay.

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(no subject)

Aug. 25th, 2006 | 01:56 am
music: "blue lights" pretty girls make graves

nothing treats me right like a six of pbr.

amy is here!
for a long time!
i feel so much better seeing her stuff around.
i think i'm lucky to have found the friends i have because i love them a whole lot and probably don't say that enough. but i do.

i like getting messages that make me giggle with glee, also.

i would like to note that my drunk typing skills are impeccable. i am in a pitch black room now on a small computer that sheds little light and it's actually somewhat frightening that i no longer need to so much as glance at the keyboard, even while rather intoxicated.
i used to be such a incapable drunk and it's sort of weird to realize how much i can take now, even after kicking back a few.
the past, i still have a hard time letting go of it. even minor things affect me in a big way so when you throw in some fairly major shit, i tend to have a hard time moving on.
but thank god, i'm at the point now where i just want to live, whatever the hell that means.

i liked seeing andrew stillson tonight. i love him. i think he gets most things and i like having people around me who make me feel that i'm not completely off my rocker who can at thet same time, point out when i am.

we met the neighbor. his name is damir. he listens to good music, smokes, and stays up late. the departure of the crow may be a good thing.

tomorrow, to the portland street diner!
i love that place...

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(no subject)

Aug. 21st, 2006 | 04:06 am

NOT ashlee simpson!

when drinking with co-workers, it is impossible to stay away from work talk.
but there were cats. and an amusing gay man who was in a traveling puppet circus in san fran. obviously, he and i became fast friends.
the rest of the evening...sort of a blur.it rained.i smoked a lot of cigarettes.

i have the next four days off and that's glorious. i mean, the rent money may be scarce but well, i don't have to scan anything until friday.

sometimes i don't know why i refuse to listen to myself.
or why i'll know that something i'm doing doesn't make any sense, and fully aware of that, i do it anyway.
why be afraid of everything that's good for me?

i don't know. it's late. i wish thinking could be more productive and less destructive.
i'm working on it...

i think the drag queen got it right.
"hello. how are you?" i asked.
"well, i've been better. but i've definitely had worse days so i guess i'm fine.yes, definitely worse days..."

yes indeed.

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(no subject)

Aug. 19th, 2006 | 03:21 am
music: "in the future when all is well" morrissey

i'm excited for what is to come.

it's weird, with nicole up the street, we've been talking more than we did last semester when she was a hallway away.
but i know i was caught up with my own shit then and you lose track of what you want.
it's good to be talking again. it feels better. :)

my cat is sans fleas and this is also good. instead of being a miserable beast, she's a darling again.

i've had a few beers. what i would have called "not enough" once. but it's enough for now.
sleep...and no work until 6 pm.

life is sort of funny.

and morrissey, in any sort of drunkeness, i remember how i love that man.

hannaford has not given me enough money.
i need to do dumb stuff like laundry and i don't know how without a car. or money.
i hate the practical. eww.
i wish i didn't hate it as much as i do...

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(no subject)

Aug. 17th, 2006 | 01:20 am

nicolita is now a street away and this makes me very happy!

i want fall. i want to wear sweaters. and start classes that i don't realize i hate yet. and work study. maybe weekends in the bakery with lindsay. the reunification of the majestic factory. apple cider. leaves. halloween!

i remember in high school when every fall meant the start of a new year, and each one felt distinct.it was a new time, with new books,new pencils,new clothes, new classmates.
and even though semesters and years all sort of blur now, fall still always feels new to me. and i like it.

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